Now, as well all know. Comic books can get a little weird to say the least. Sometimes weird can be good, sometimes weird can bad… and sometimes weird is just plain weird. So, it would only make sense that the comic books couples would follow suit.
Now that’s not to say we haven’t seen some really cool superhero couples because we definitely have. But for every Sue Storm and Reed Richards or Hawk & Dove, there is a couple that left us scratching our head in bewilderment.
In some cases this was due to them being part of a different long standing comic book couple and seeing them with someone else doesn’t feel right, other times they were chalk and cheese personified with directly opposing ideals, and then there’s just some characters we never wanted to picture bumping uglies…
Whatever the case may be we’ve put together a list unlikely comic book couples that cupid’s bow must’ve misfired to create!
Here is our list of
12 Comic Book Couples That Didn’t Make Sense!
1. Doctor Octopus & Aunt May
It’s unknown why Marvel thought it would be a good idea to pair a sweet old lady who bakes cookies and knits sweaters with a maniacal multi-mechanical-armed supervillain who wants to kill her nephew but here we are.
This all started in Amazing Spider-Man #114 (1972) when it was revealed that Aunt May had been working as a housekeeper for Doctor Octopus. He manages to fool her into thinking he was a perfect gentleman who was just misunderstood by the masses. The two then fall in love, and by Amazing Spider-Man #131 (1974) they were set to be married. Thankfully, the wedding was broken up by Hammerhead before they said their vows… Uncle Ben must’ve been spinning in his grave!
2. M.O.D.O.K. & Maria Hill
I really don’t know where to begin with this one. There are so many reasons why this cursed union makes absolutely no sense at all. It’s a pairing that is as mismatched as M.O.D.O.K.’s head to body ratio! How does a hate spewing, giant headed, technological supervillain end up with a quick witted, strong willed S.H.I.E.L.D. agent? Better yet, how does Maria Hill go from crushing on Cyclops to jumping M.O.D.O.K.’s bones?
Some questions are probably best left unanswered but all of this unfolded in Secret Avengers Vol. 3 #1 (2014), a title that was once a cool, superhero/spy book that had now been turned into an outrageous sci-fi/spy comedy filled with other WTF moments such as Black Widow, Spider-Woman & Hawkeye all naked fighting A.I.M. Agents in a Russian bath house.
3. Rogue & Magneto
Rogue doesn’t have it easy when it comes to relationships. Given the nature of her powers her touch can be deadly making it so anyone in a relationship with her is constantly in danger. So, seeing anyone willing to risk it all for Rogue is surprising enough, but Magneto?
Not only are the two foes placed at either side of the mutant coin but they’re also born at opposite ends of the century. Magneto is a holocaust survivor and she’s often depicted as being in her 20’s! To make things even weirder, the one who paired them was none other than Rogue’s best friend, Magneto’s (at the time believed to be) daughter, Scarlet Witch.
I mean who in their right minds would want to hook one of their parents up with their best friend?
4. Sam Wilson & Jane Foster
First things first I have nothing against Sam Wilson. My problem with this coupling lies in the fact that I’m too used to the fact that Thor and Jane Foster being together. I mean, it’s like seeing Mary Jane Watson with Wolverine or Lois Lane with Nightwing. It just doesn’t seem right to me.
You may disagree but I just don’t like the idea that these long-standing comic book couples can be broken up. Is nothing sacred anymore? If real love doesn’t even exist in comic books then us people in the real world haven’t got a hope in hell! All-New All-Different Marvel was just a disaster all over.
5. She-Hulk & Juggernaut
She-Hulk has had her fair share of flings (seriously I can name about 10 off the top of my head). It’s not hard to see why she has so many willing male suitors. I mean, what’s not to like? A super strong, intelligent lawyer?
Juggernaut on the other hand… is a mindless, destructive supervillain. She-Hulk is the complete opposite of him. A literal personification of control. Despite being a Hulk she still retains complete control and all of her intelligence. I know they say opposites attract but throwing these two together is like trying to merge a tranquil library with a demolition derby!
This was eventually retconned to have happened in an alternative reality but we’re not letting them off that easily. Nice try Marvel!
6. Wasp & Magneto
Famously, Wasp (Janet Van Dyne) was once in an abusive relationship with her ex-husband Hank Pym. So, you’d think she’d stay away from anyone with even the slightest hint of a dark side, right? Wrong. Enter Magneto.
This short fling unfolded in the pages of Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #3 (1984) and even the way it happened is strange. She starts off as his prisoner and after deciding to release her, Magneto puts the moves on her. Wasp then (after putting up some resistance) makes out with him stating “you have the iciest blue eyes I’ve ever seen”.
The extremely brief romance ended shortly after when she turned on him stating she was just “playing along” to trick him. Either way the whole thing was incredibly random and made little sense.
7. Monseur Mallah & The Brain
This one is probably one of the strangest comic book villain couples that we’ve ever seen. Seeing a French speaking gorilla in any type of relationship would be enough to make this list, but a brain in a jar? I mean, how does that even work?
The two were first revealed to be romantically involved in Doom Patrol Vol. 2 #34 (1990) making them one of the first openly gay couples in comic books. Which is pretty cool but on the other hand it’s a gorilla and a brain in a jar! The pages of Doom Patrol are often weird but this is definitely up there.
In this story, The Brain is placed in Robotman’s new body and the two declare their love for each other, sharing an intimate moment before the body self-destructs in protest.
8. Hulk & She-Hulk
The Old Man Logan Universe is a reality where all of the villains banded together under the leadership of Red Skull and killed all of the heroes. This resulted in the U.S.A. being divided into multiple territories ruled by different villains. As you can imagine, this is a pretty messed up universe.
In this universe, the Hulk begins to lose his mind and become evil after years of gamma exposure. Wanting to create a family of Hulk’s, he decides that the only way to do this is to mate with the only woman who wouldn’t die of gamma poisoning, his first cousin, She-Hulk.
It’s also worth mentioning that it’s strongly alluded that she didn’t have a choice in this matter either! Regardless, the two have multiple off-spring who grow into a hillbilly, inbred, cannibal Hulk-gang.
9. Supergirl & Comet
We previously mentioned this “relationship” in our article on WTF Moments in comics but it definitely deserves it’s place on this list too! Supergirl was groomed by a telepathic horse who made her have erotic dreams about him. It gets weirder too so pay attention here because this is pretty hard to follow.
Comet the Superhorse is revealed to be a centaur who wanted to be human but was instead transformed into a horse and given superpowers. He is then exiled to a comet where he lives for 1000s of years before the comet is struck by the rocket that brought Supergirl to earth. After reaching earth alongside Supergirl, Comet the Superhorse watches her until she grows to puberty then grooms her (bear in mind she’s still a school girl at this point).
There’s just so many things to unpick here I wouldn’t even know where to start. If Jerry Siegel was still alive I would definitely recommend that his search history be checked…
10. Deadpool & Wasp
This story is a weird one because it takes place during Secret Wars, an event that Deadpool wasn’t involved in during the first telling but was for some reason retconned and placed into later on.
During his time on Battle-World, Zsaji heals Deadpool taking away his physical disfigurement. Now, he’d reverted to the handsome form he once took long before, Deadpool seized his opportunity to woo Wasp.
However, the healing was somehow reversed and Wasp was left disgusted unable to get over his physical appearance. Pretty sad really. Who knew Wasp was so shallow?
11. Superman & Luma Lynai
After seeing a sad romantic movie, Superman’s cousin Kara Zor-El decides she needs to find a woman for him. So what does she do? She finds someone who looks exactly like her and hooks him up with her. To make matters worse this actually works. Superman falls in love with her!
The woman in question, Luma Lynai from the planet Staryl is basically identical to Kara Zor-El. So not only is Superman ok with dating someone who looks just like his cousin but Kara Zor-El is ok with it too. Is there something they’re hiding?
12. Ultimate Scarlet Witch & Quicksilver
This is hands down the most disgusting of all the comic book couples on this list. Kissing cousins are bad, but siblings? The Ultimate Universe (Earth-1610) reimagined the regular Marvel Universe (Earth-616) and created a new timeline that was easier for new readers to get into. However, overtime it got weirder and weirder.
The weirdest of all was the relationship between Magneto’s children Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch. They didn’t hide this relationship either. It was front and centre for everyone to see! To make matters worse, most people are totally fine about it. Wasp actually ridicules Captain America for having a problem with it! The two were inseparably obsessed with each other until Scarlet Witch met her death at the hands of an Ultron unit.
It’s hard to believe that this was written by the same man who created the Marvel Netflix series’.
Summary
To summarise, there has been some really messed up, weird and in some cases depraved comic book couples. Some of these were mildly discomforting and others were downright disturbing! Here’s a recap of the entire list:
- Doctor Octopus & Aunt May
- O.D.O.K. & Maria Hill
- Rogue & Magneto
- Sam Wilson & Jane Foster
- She-Hulk & Juggernaut
- Wasp & Magneto
- Monseur Mallah & The Brain
- Hulk & She-Hulk
- Supergirl & Comet
- Deadpool & Wasp
- Superman & Luma Lynai
- Ultimate Scarlet Witch & Quicksilver
If there’s any we missed out or any you don’t agree with? Let us know in the comment section below…
